The Woman I Grew Up to Become

As many of you know I am a fan of Facebook. What started out as a simple request from my friend Becky has now turned into a bit of an obsession for me. I have reconnected with many old friends and it is a great way to stay in touch with my current friends. We exchange pictures, recipes, and our daily trials. In the past I would look to people.com or some other celebrity website to feed the my guilty pleasures, I now go to Facebook.

So today as I was browsing through the news feeds, ( it sounds very pertinent but it's just updates about what has been happening in the world of FB.) While looking at all the details of my FB friends lives, I came across a picture taken during my senior year. It was of the entire senior class. Many people were commenting on it, saying how funny we looked, the big sweaters, the big hair, etc. I took a look at myself and really thought nothing of it. A little bit later I looked again and was surprised at what I saw.

The ugly girl who had such a hard time in school, looked kinda pretty now. That ugly girl was me and when I was in school I had many many kids come right up to me and tell me how ugly I was. Just what I needed to hear, right? Thanks for the info guys! Well, I will never forget their names, or how these kids made me feel. My school life was not a happy one and the things that were said to me , the things that were thrown at me and the way even the teachers made me feel has stuck with me to this day.

But it all ends here. In this blog, on this day, forever. Because I realized something, that girl, was pretty, she was sweet, she was smart and she deserved better. Don't think I have been feeling down about myself all these years, I haven't I have a great self image! But at that moment I realized something, all those kids, the ones who rejected me, laughed at me, and made my life miserable to advance their own egos were just a bunch of LOSERS!! I know this sounds harsh, some may say they were just kids, but at what point do kids become accountable? High school kids know better and most choose to ignore common sense. Be kind to others, everyone is an equal, be patient, accept those who are not like you, are not the types of things I saw a lot of in school.

But most of all, those kids lost out, they never got to know the girl who was an awesome tennis player and could hit a backhand winner down the line almost every time. If they had asked I would have taught them how to do it! They lost out on a friend who would have been true to the end. They also lost out on knowing the woman that girl grew up to be.

I was just as pretty as any of them, so for whatever reason they chose to single me out will forever be a mystery, but it has made me who I am today so I won't complain. We all have different roads we need to take in our lives and my early years with my peers were awful. But I have more then made up for it. I did go through a period in my life where I thought I had to be perfect and mean just like those kids to survive. I soon realized that it only burns holes in your heart and does no good, because you are only hurting yourself. You miss out on knowing some great people when you judge by looks first and character second.

If any of my high school classmates ever read this I want to introduce myself, my name is Karen, I'm pretty and kind. I am also a good writer, a great mom, and an even better friend. I think I am funny and I love to make others laugh. I am not much different today, except I am not as shy and have not fear in telling anyone what I think.

Today I have many friends, friends who never knew me back then, and really don't care about what I was like at 17. They also don't care one bit about what I look like or that I have bad hair days an awful lot! If only the kids of Colonie High Class of 89 had tried to see this, but maybe this is the way it was always intended to be.

The only way I know how to end this is with this quote from my friend Kathy, "my past does not define me, my Jesus defines me." And that quote sums up the woman I have grown up to be! be!

To Vote or Not To Vote and Does it Even Matter?

Another morning in the Adkins household, let me paint you a picture

Oh look, there's mom rocking her 2 precious babies. Dad is getting a coffee and getting ready to head out the door. All is well in the world, cue the Today Show, look again, there's mama, still rocking the babies but why is she screaming. Look her face is turning red and she's shouting at Dad!

Yes I can't handle watching the news these days. Or the Obama show as so many call it. The lies and half truths drive me up the wall. All my yelling and screaming caused my husband to say once again, that it does not even matter who we vote for since we live in NY. Obama will win the state so who cares. Well, there are other races and important ones to I added, but then I got to thinking and I realized that it does really matter.

It matters because who you choose to vote for on election day says something about you. What you stand for and what your values are should determine your vote. My children are watching me and learning how to act, trying to understand the world and what I do. Who I vote for and what I believe will be passed on to them. If I don't take a stand for my beliefs then what is left?

In today's world we are taught to be tolerant of other people's views, their religions, and their stances on important issues. Well I think that this waters down society and if we believe this new tolerance doctrine then nothing matters.

As Christians if we give credit to other religions and say there is more then one way to God, then Jesus was a liar who died for nothing. His apostles are fools and anyone martyred in his name is a fool who wasted their life. Why even bother going to church if you are going to add a little Buddhism to your Christianity? Jesus was not a Buddhist, he was a tolerant person, and he never wavered when he spoke of the truth. But when he spoke the truth, grace was always in the mix.

But another thing really gets to me. If who we vote for speaks to our beliefs what about the people who mindlessly follow the media without even checking to see if what is shown is actually true. What about what they are not telling us. News served on a silver platter only shows half the story. As a busy mom it is so hard to find the time to read and seek out the truth, why can't the news just present an unbiased view? But it really is my duty to understand who I am voting for, and who I am not choosing to vote for and why.

Next Tuesday I will go and vote, whether or not Obama wins, I believe my vote will matter because of who is watching me. I want my kids to grow up in a world where what you believe matters, where you can take a stand without being called a bigot, a hater, you name it. I want to teach Jordan and Janelle that the truth you believe in is the same today, tomorrow and forever.

New Name

I have decided that I would like to change the name of this blog. I have been thinking that I am not really that tired anymore and would like to convey a more positive image. I have been considering a few different titles but would love some help. So go ahead and send me your ideas! If I like your idea, I will recognize you in my humble writings and someday when I am rich and famous maybe I will compensate you! Until then a simple thanks, will have to do!

What To Do?

I think one of the hardest things about being a stay at home mom is deciding what to do each day. There is no blueprint and in my case we really don't have a set schedule. Many times, today for instance I am just kinda vegging and wandering the house with no purpose.

Jordan decided, that if she could not go to the mall and eat pretzels then the day was better spent at home. Our weekly story time with Mrs. Payette was no competition for the mall and so after a lot of yelling, and kicking, mom and daughter both, we decided to stay at home.

4 hours ago that seemed like a great idea, but right now maybe not. The fighting has begun, the kids are tired, I am on my 5Th load of laundry and am struggling to keep my eyes open. The time for naps is quickly passing. Soon I will turn into a drill sergeant shouting out orders, no napping, eyes open, get up, it's too late for sleep!!!I have to do this because if they sleep now they won't sleep tonight. I must also fight with myself because if they napped now, I could too! But I know I would regret it later....

I have heard it said that today's kids are over scheduled but on days like today I can't even imagine. I do see many mom's heading to the Y, then the library, then to playgroup all in one day! I guess even 3 year olds can be over scheduled. Maybe the Adkins girls are a different breed. Jordan and Janelle need a few days at home playing, watching TV, and just hanging out each week. I am not much of a planner and so many days pass and I have to say little was accomplished. Unless you consider kid's using their imaginations, playing with toys and cuddling with mom to be a wasted day. So many times I get the feeling that many people today would see this as a wasted toddlerhood!

Will my kids be able to compete with the other kids, the kids who attend school, the kids who visit the museum weekly. How will my kids measure up against the yoga tots, tiny chefs, and the signing kids?

Will the other kids think Jordan is a slacker because she has never attending a chef's class, or been to mother goose's school of manners? Those kids mom's must have gotten the blueprint for motherhood at the hospital. My mommy backpack just had some formula, wipes, ointments and a few "free" baby blankets.

Am I doing it all wrong? I don't think so but, this blog will be continued in 5 to 10 years and I will let you know how well the under scheduled toddlers make out, will they get into kindergarten, will they graduate grade school, only time will tell.....

What Did I Do Today

I read this poem and loved it. I hope you all enjoy it, it is how I live my life and I bet many of you can identify with me! This may also be a great thing to copy and put on the fridge to remind all those husbands who come home with little understanding of what goes on during the day. As my neighbor told me the other day, who has time for housework when we are growing children, mind , body and little souls! Enjoy!


What Did I Do Today
Today I left some dishes dirty,
the bed got made around 3:30.
The diapers soaked a little longer,
The odor grew a little stronger.
The crumbs I spilled the day before
Are staring at me from the floor.
the fingerprints there on the wall
Will likely be there still next fall.
the dirty streaks on those windowpanes
Will still be there next time it rains.
Shame on you, you sit and say,
Just what did you do today?
I held a baby till she slept,
I held a toddler while he wept.
I played a game of hide and seek,
I squeezed a toy so it would squeak.
I pulled a wagon, sang a song,
Taught a child right from wrong.
What did I do this whole day through?
Not much that shows, I guess that's true.
Unless you think that what I've done,
might be important to someone
with deep green eyes and soft brown hair,
If that is true....I've done my share. -Author Unknown-

Sick and Tired

Well, that about sums it up. I am sick and tired of buying into the belief that a spouse who works outside the home works harder than a stay at home parent. Yeah it's hard to get up and get dressed and go out and work for someone else. But ya know what, it's no day in the park being thrown up on. It's no day in the park because as a stay at home mom I work for a 3 year old and a 21 month old.



What about the fact that I am constantly cleaning, constantly cooking, I never sit down until it is time for me to rock my children to sleep. Instead of enjoying this time, I am making a list of all the things I need to do once my precious children go to sleep.

Many mom's condemn me because I rock my kids to sleep. Well I think I am a genius. Because if I did not rock them to sleep I would have to continue working. I work from morning to bed time. I am fed up and no longer going to make excuses for those people who work outside the home, this home. I dust, clean , cook, do the wash, iron the wash, make the bed, last night I even carried my Liberty up the stairs because she could not make it on her own. I keep an eye on the health of a 3 year old, 21 month and 10 year old cocker spaniel. 2 of which cannot speak! I look for lumps, bumps, ticks and now I am even battling the system over a "supposed" speech problem. I guess a college degree has more clout than a mom's intuition. Leave my kid alone!

I am sick and tired of all of this.



I work longer, I work harder, I do a great job at a job that is never done, never rewarded, never acknowledged.



I work while the working parent spends the quality time with my girls, the time that I don't have during the day because I am brushing 3 sets of teeth, getting 3 bodies dressed, combing 3 very different types of hair. I negotiate, I make deals, I sometimes even win these deals. But even when I lose I still have to show up, I still have to do the work and I don't ever get a day off.



I know I am ranting and probably not making sense. But I am tired of censoring, this blog is supposed to be my outlet. This is how I see it and to those who will complain, well then just don't read what I have to say.

How can a Tired Mom Stop Obama and Save Our World?

Well, I said his name. Or at least I typed it. I vowed last night to never speak his name again. He scares me. I am going to be blunt, I think he is a bad man. Yes I follow politics and the economy, I also know what happens when people blindly follow an individual. I feel much of this passion for him is just based on a vague idea that he can change things. Look back in history and see what happens when a charismatic individual who people mindlessly follow comes to power.

I also follow Biblical prophecy and again this man scares me. His views on Israel confuse me. I will write about this in another blog.

I just feel powerless because I think he will be elected. I believe our country and our lives will change forever. In the past I always cared about who would be president, but I never felt like my way of life was being threatened. I have heard the sayings, I know politicians can't be trusted, but I feel that this man, is in another league. His past is shady, his confidence is scary, his band of blindfolded followers are a bit unsettling. He lies, and those lies are scary. Why are people believing him, what is happening to our country? Inform yourselves people!!

What can one mom do? How many days are left until the election, 28? It's too late. I see my country slipping away. I see this man as the next dictator, not a President, I beg all of you to wake up!

Pray, I think getting on our knees and praying may be the only way to stop him. But yet, I am back to Biblical prophecy, if God wants it, it will come to be.

I am just one mom, for months I have felt the urge to do something. But what? I have seen this coming and I did not inform myself enough to tell other people. I never followed my heart and tried to find ways to spread the word.

I plan on posting more about this, I plan on exploring these issues more deeply. Please continue to read, I will not give up, I believe in America and hope we can all come to our senses.